In past relationships, I have listened to the advice of others who say “tell him what you need, you can’t expect people to read your mind.” But, I have often found myself frustrated after communicating what I wanted and not receiving it. When this happened to me, I kept analyzing the situation and it made me fixate on the concept of willingness. Follow me, Girlfriends.
Willingness is the capacity of which you allow yourself to do; to be open and available to surrender. With this one particular person, no matter how much I yelled what I wanted, he would not relent. In his eyes, he did not see the need for the things that I said I wanted. It was then that I realized that he did not have the willingness to give me what I needed. Despite all his claims of love for me, he was unwilling to show said love in the way that I needed. It wasnt about me, it was about his unwillingness to be anything other than what he thought was necessary. It was his right to do so; just as it was my right to walk away. And I did.
Willingness takes courage. It means that despite past experiences, one is willing to cleave from old paradigms and adapt to the needs of others. It’s not about what you think about it; it’s about how the other person feels. My definition of love encompasses thinking of new ways to make your S.O. happy. That requires willingness.
So if you ever find yourself in a situation where you aren’t getting what you want and you have communicated this to your S.O; walk away. They dont have the willingness to love you in the way that you need. So, you have to have the willingness to get the love you deserve…from someone else.